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TALES OUT OF SCHOOL - I can't get fired, I'm retired !
A book could be written relating to situations that pros have experienced at their clubs, but unfortunately they must wait until retiring before telling.
The Korean war was in progress while I was pro at Maxwell Field. Harry Truman was President, and he could care less about golf, and it wasn’t unit Eisenhower became President, did golf start to flourish at military basis. We had to be self sustaining in those days. One of my many responsibilities was the maintenance of the golf course. The labor force on the golf course was composed of prisoners, and the greens keeper was a prison guard. They worked a forty hour week, and the time of the year when we really needed help, the prison count was low, and vice versa.
One year the Alabama river flooded the golf course, and when it receded, it left mud all over one of the greens. The crew had washed the mud off, airified, fertilized, and had done everything possible to get the grass growing. The President of the club observed this procedure. The next day he came back again and remarked the greens keeper that he didn’t see any grass growing. The greens keeper was used to handling prisoners, and not too tactful. He said, “Colonel, I can stand here and wet nurse this tree, but not a damn leaf is going to come out on it until the good Lord is ready.”
We had one president of the club, who had an obsession about ball washers and towels. Every day they had one of the prisoners service all eighteen ball washers. Every day, when the Colonel went out to play some of the towels were missing. He became real upset and then had the towels padlocked to the ball washer. The next day some of the towels had been cut off. Now he was really upset and determined to catch the person who was getting the towels. He had the towels died red, and he parked behind the ninth green to catch the criminal. He did. It was another Colonel, who by date of rank, outranked him. Nothing was ever said or done. Date of rank in the military is a big thing among a group of officers with the same rank.
One day a foursome came into the pro shop raining hell because a foursome had driven into them several times. One of them said he was going to report it to the Pentagon. I couldn’t believe him, but I went to the door to see who he was talking about. When I saw who it was I told them that I thought it would be a good idea to get on the tenth tee as fast as they could and get out of sight. It was the Base Commander, along with the head of the War College. The ones complaining WERE students in the War College.
One time we were holding a Ladies golf tournament,, and one young Lieutenant’s wife came in crying. I asked her what had happened. She said the lady she was playing against had hit a tree and the ball went out of bounds, but she was not going to count it, because that tree should not have been there. The young lady said, “Her husband is a Colonel, and my husband works for him.” “Only God can make a tree.”
We had a Board once that went sign crazy and had the golf course looking like a Burma Shave corridor. We had a flood coming up and I went down and loosened up all the signs that were subject to getting flooded, and they ended up in another state.
All of these incidents happened in the days before the electric cart, and players either pulled a cart, or had a caddie. We had one hole that was bordered by a trap, and people had gotten into the habit of pulling their carts between the trap and the green, and it had created a damaged area. A sign was put up between the green and the trap. One day a lady was pulling her cart between the green and the trap, and a man working on the golf course yelled at her to pull her cart around the trap. She snapped back him and said, “Why don’t you put up a sign?” He said, “ What in the devil do you think you have your wheel caught on.?
All of these little stories I have been writing about, are no different than different ideas and programs at other clubs. In my case, I owned a club for thirty nine years. My main project was not to go broke. Ball washers were low on my priority list. In the winter time, when I really needed them, they would freeze up. And in the summer I didn’t really need them because the golfers had enough sweat in their towels to wipe the ball clean, In the winter I had enough puddles of water, and didn’t mind the members calling them “Larsen’s ball washers.”
If your Board is composed of good golfers, you will have a tough golf course. If they are poor golfers, they will have an easier golf course. If they are social minded, the money will go there,, etc. If the next President of the United States would be hung up on Ping Pong, all the politicians will take up Ping Pong. President Eisenhower did more for golf than Arnold Palmer.
Every Club has at least two factions. One that is in power, and the others, waiting to get in power. Similar to Republicans and Democrats. The Pro has to ride the fence. He has to be good to those who were in power when you got the job, but don’t ignore the other party, because their day will come.