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SENIORS, YOU HAVE IT MADE
SENIORS, YOU HAVE IT MADE
As a man grows older he starts complaining about the things he can no longer do. He needs to have to look at the bright side and appreciate the advantages he has acquired. True, he cannot chase wild women as he used to do, but neither will he get into the trouble they used to create for him. Every place he goes, he gets a senior discount. The discount helps soothe the reality of being classified as a senior.
Just look at the advantages you now have on the golf course. You can now go to the Senior tees, or whatever less discriminatory name they may have given them and you no longer have to jump out of your shoes to get over that water hole. You are no longer hitting the ball all over creation by trying to kill it. As we all know, much of the error in a golf swing occurs in the back swing. You are so stiff now that you cannot go back far enough to create an error. Those young fellows you play with are spending small fortunes on clubs that are guaranteed to hit a hundred yards further than the competition. They are developing hernias trying to drive every green. You, in the meantime, are doing the "Tortoise and the Hare” routine and will be waiting for them at the green after they arrive from their trip into the jungle looking for their golf balls.
In the never-ending pursuit of finding answers to this game of golf, the relation between sound and hitting the ball was pursued. They had a group of fine golfers hitting drivers on a range. They were all good golfers. After a period of time they put cotton in their ears and in a short time they were all performing badly. The Spalding Dot golf ball was the premier ball of that time, and mainly because of the sharp "crack" when it was struck. It gave you a feeling of power, just like that kid on the motorcycle next to you at a stoplight. He keeps revving the motor, creating the feeling of power and takes off like a shot. You may have experienced that same feeling when your muffler blows and before you have it fixed, you feel as if you were at Daytona. Now as you have gotten older, you think you can no longer produce that explosive sound of a good drive. You can with a simple twist of your hearing aid.
When you are in the locker room after a round, your conversation will have changed over the years. You no longer talk about the good wild times you used to enjoy, but will center about other subjects, such as the current medications you are now taking.
I used to be pro at a club that had an upstairs and downstairs locker rooms. The bartenders, when getting a call from some wife looking for her husband, were instructed to say, "No ma'am, There are no husbands in here today."
One of the high points in my life as a senior pro, was the day I played in a Pro-Am On my team were three members of the NAIC National Championship golf team. Even though I was a senior, the pro told me I had to play from the blue tees. I "poor mouthed" him for a while, but he said "blue." My team played from the white tees. I pleaded with the pro to let me use the white tees, but he just grinned and said, "You are a Pro." By this time we reached the last hole I was worn out and was just going along letting them carry me. The 18th hole had a long drive prize for both the white and the blue tees. At this point, survival was my main interest, and long drive never even entered my mind . The 18th hole had water all of the way on the left, so I aimed well to the right. My drive hit the cart path and stayed on it forever. When it finally rolled off of the cart path it was past everyone, bot white and blue. When I put my name on the little flag in the fairway, I wrote. "With a 3 wood." My golf ball looked as if it had been put through a meat grinder. It tickled the pro and he said, "That is why I told you to play the "Blues."
When you were young, you walked and pulled a cart, or had a caddie. Now that you have gotten older, you can get in a cart and ride. When you go home you can turn on the Golf Channel and see everything that you had done wrong that day, or you can turn on a golf tournament and watch other golfers suffer.
SENIORS, YOU HAVE IT MADE