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ARE YOU IN SHAPE?
“Golf is the most over-taught and least-learned human endeavor. If they taught sex the way they teach golf, the race would have died out years ago.”
The next time you watch golf on TV, be sure to notice how fast the players are walking between shots, the fact that most of the golf courses that host tournaments are very hilly and there is usually a considerable distance between the green they have just finished putting out on and the next tee. Maybe that is why they take so long in lining up their putts. They are probably giving their hearts a chance to slow down, as well as giving that group waiting behind them a chance to catch their breaths. Seriously though, professional golfers are athletes and are constantly working on their physical conditioning. When they come up to the last hole they have to be strong.
When I was in High School, I had a girl friend by the name of Marge Abrams. Marge used to live a mile and a half north of my house, and the movie house was a half-mile to my south. I had to walk the mile and half to her house, and the two of us would walk two miles to the movie. The movie let out at nine and I had to have her home by ten or father would kill me. He had lowered the boom on one of her former dates when he had gotten her home late, so I took this seriously. When the movie let out we had the two-mile walk to her house. I would then run the mile and a half back to my home to get rid of my frustrations. This probably helped keeping me from getting into any trouble with Marge.
When school was out for the summer, I spent all of my time at the golf course, and we didn’t close shop until after nine, so dating was out of the question. Marge was my sophomore year girl, but when I went back for my junior year, Marge had replaced me, but there was a new girl, Sonya Clarabut. Sonya had moved in one house below Marge’s. We used to double date, and would take the same walk to the movies every week. That went on until school was out, and then I went back to the golf course for the summer. When I went back for my senior year, fickle Sonya, had replaced me, but a new girl by the name of Betty Rankin, had moved in one house below Sonya’s so we tripled dated and took the same weekly walks. In three years I had only moved a couple of hundred yards closer to the movie. Sonya and Betty moved, but Marge married and stayed there. She was my best friend and I kept in touch with her until she died.
In the year 2000 I went back for a visit. The little motel, where I stayed, was across the street from where Marge lived. One night, for nostalgia sake, I walked from the motel to where the movie house was, and back to the motel. I skipped the additional mile and a half of walking, and the mile and a half of running, for obvious reasons. A McDonalds has replaced the movie house. I stopped for a burger before making the two-mile trip back to the motel. I must have been nuts not to have been able to find someone who lived closer to the movies than that.
Golf courses that were built before he electric cart were designed for walking. There was usually a short walk from the hole just finished to the next tee. All golfers walked, pulled a cart, or had a caddie. The combination of new earth moving equipment and the golf cart, made it feasible to spread golf courses over much larger areas and terrains. Juniors, who are really interested in advanced golf, must walk. In high school and College golf, all team members are required to walk and carry their bags. On the smaller Pro tours, where the prize money is not great, many of the pros still carry their own bags and some even have their wives caddie for them. Hard work, dedication, conditioning and a college education are essential in the pro ranks today. Education is probably the most important in case they cannot make it as a golfer.
My writing makes it obvious that I was never a candidate for valedictorian. In fact I graduated in four years by the Grace of God and a fast backfield. We are all very aware of the bias in news reporting, but I had never realized that it existed in our studies in schools, until I moved to the South. In history we had to study dates and details of the Civil War. I have found out since I have become a Southerner, that some of the schooling in the Northern schools was biased. I have learned the truth from a golfing friend of mine, who is a college history professor. General Lee did not surrender his sword to General Grant. What actually happened, was they were both in a men’s room, and General Lee wanted to wash his hands and took off his sword and handed it to General Grant, thinking he was the men’s room attendant. That is actually what happened. Neither did the war end in 1865. Apparently you have not noticed those burly looking men driving in a pick-up truck with a gun rack and a Confederate flag.
“There are only two things you have to do with your head down, golf and praying.”